Feeling and dealing

I’m going through a bunch of personal stuff these past couple of weeks, so forgive me if I’m lacking in the deep profound posts department.  Keeping my head above water has been my first priority, while tending to the other things in my life that need tending to the degree possible.

The title of this post refers to some shorthand about attachment theory: it is the preferred type of attachment pattern for a caregiver to have with a child.  Showing empathy for what a child is feeling rather than dismissing it (feeling), then offering comfort and safety (dealing).  Sadly one or both of these are often missing from childhood experience, and the resultant adult tends to unconsciously mimic the same patterns in relationships through his or her life.

At the moment, I’m trying not to: I’m trying to be there, trying to keep an open heart, and manage the practical realities at the same time.  It’s a tightrope, especially for someone who didn’t have models for it.  But I’m working on it.

More on this topic when there’s more in me to give.  For now: tell me about you?

Published by Kamela Dolinova

Expressive arts adventuress: writing, performing, healing, loving.

2 thoughts on “Feeling and dealing

  1. Hi Kamela, I have been following your posts thinking I might respond. Today’s post touched me and Feels so familiar I can’t put this reply off. Whatever the circumstances are in your situation I can identify, I know, I’ve been there. More important, I have survived and at age 75, am finaly am becoming the person I’m supposed to be. It is a VERY long story. I am comfortable talking about it. I’m no therapist but have spent the majority of my life caring for others…… You. Need not respond to this only if you feel like it. I hope your difficult issues will resolve soon. Very best, Evie

    Sent from my Verizon Wireless 4G LTE DROID

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