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“What’s your name when you’re at home?”  -Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead

Apologies for disappearing last week; I’m beginning work on a total revamp of the materials I use to reach the people I want to help.  In the course of this transition, I may be blogging here a bit less, but I’m hoping to keep it up at least once a week.

The thing that I’m recognizing is that while I am open to helping just about anyone who comes through my door, I really need to focus on reaching those people I enjoy working with the most, and whom I can most effectively help.  Over and over, I’m finding both that the people who reach out to me, and the people I enjoy working with, are people who have sexualities, gender presentations/identities, or relationship styles that are non-standard to the mainstream.

I am fortunate enough to live in a community of people who are open and accepting, and who both have and offer support to one another.  Included in this community are gays and lesbians and bisexual/pansexual folks, transgender and genderqueer people, polyamorous individuals, couples and families, and people into alternative expressions of sexuality like BDSM or “kink.”  It’s a loving network of human beings who have proved to be invaluable resources to one another, countless times in my experience, while they’re busy having regular lives – jobs, houses, kids, pets, family members who get sick and die, celebrations and tragedies.

Often, though, I realize how spoiled I am by this abundance.  People have contacted me who aren’t living openly, who don’t have this kind of community, who are scared of who they are, of their desires, and have not received the kind of loving support they need.

I want to help these people connect to their true selves, to their authentic and unique beauty, so they can experience the loving connection they desire and deserve.

So, having set this intention: the search for these clients begins.  But I want your help.

If you are reading this, and you identify yourself as falling into the population I describe above: how do you describe yourself?  Particularly to people outside of your immediate circles.  For instance: many people I know are comfortable using the word “queer” and throw it around amongst themselves.  However, I’m unsure to what degree those same people would use that terminology when attempting to describe themselves to someone who was outside of that group.

So: what do you call yourself to your community, and what do you call yourself when you’re identifying your sexuality outside of your community?

Finally: can you think of an umbrella term that covers everyone I’m talking about?  The LGBTQI label is nice, but seems not to include poly or kinky people per se.  Are there terms for this that you enjoy?  That you find insulting?  That you identify with, or strongly do not?

Your comments wanted.

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