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I gave my talk, along with Sam of the fabulous Beyond Safewords. (Her post about the event is here.)

Samantha and I are hoping to give this talk again in the near future, at other kink events, and I am looking to develop other talks as well on the topics of self-care, consent, safe and boundaried touch, and other things that geek culture can sometimes have a problem with.

There is an ongoing problem, which is coming up in geek spaces from science fiction conventions to kink meetups to game design spaces to maker events. That problem tends to boil down to people who tend to be less body-aware and less aware of social cues trying to have interactions with one another that are more or less sexualized, and crossing boundaries left, right and center. The real problem, however, is with how those in authority in these spaces respond, or fail to respond, to the problem.

I was struck, at the small, one-day con where Sam and I gave this talk, at how timely and welcome the information seemed. We got tremendously positive feedback, were engaged in fantastically productive and provocative discussion, and learned perhaps even more than we imparted. Coming from our differing backgrounds in traditional therapy and body-centered work, we offered our tools of empathy, body awareness, breath, presence, and accurate attunement to the question of consent, even on the smallest interactions. The result, I think (and hope), is something that goes beyond enthusiastic consent, and into conscious negotiation, even communion, with a potential partner.

In the future, we hope to do a kind of 201 class as a followup, with more troubleshooting, more partner work, and more discussion.

Stay tuned for my development of said presentations, and if you saw me at Bound in Boston: Wicked Women last weekend, please say hello here, and let me know if you’d like to have me speak at your event!

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