Gender essentialism: how useful is it in therapy?

I’ve been doing some relationship work lately with a talented therapist.  While she doesn’t necessarily get everything that we’re laying down, to use a very old phrase, she does do an amazing job of observing and calling out the ways we communicate (or don’t), and helping us zero in on what the problems actually are.Continue reading “Gender essentialism: how useful is it in therapy?”

Spreading the word wider

I’ve recently been made the Admin of the Rubenfeld Synergy Method blog, which means I’m posting over there, plus managing and approving posts from other contributors.  I’m excited to have a wider community of Synergists, clients, and other healing professionals see my writings about this, and excited to help bring other voices in the discussionContinue reading “Spreading the word wider”

Massage Therapy Boosts the Immune System of Cancer Patients
 – Guest Post

The lovely Melanie Bowen of the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance Blog contacted me not too long ago, wanting to guest post in this space about the power of healing touch to help cancer patients.  While this article is specifically about massage therapy, I have also known patients to get a lot of benefit out of RubenfeldContinue reading “Massage Therapy Boosts the Immune System of Cancer Patients
 – Guest Post”

[Re-run] Moving from habit to choice

Today I came across this very simple and straightforward blog post from Kristen Barton Cuthriell about behaviors and consequences. The post is full of sound advice about what happens when you make particular choices, and how thinking through the consequences can help you make the right ones. A few examples: When you choose to stayContinue reading “[Re-run] Moving from habit to choice”

[Re-run] Hack Yourself

Sorting through some old emails yesterday, I found a link that a friend sent to me long ago, that I probably wasn’t ready for around then. Yesterday I clicked that link and, to my delight, it was still there. Or rather, its author – horror and fantasy writer Michael Montoure – had pulled it fromContinue reading “[Re-run] Hack Yourself”

“And, just like that, all my anger uncoiled and slithered away.”

Today’s little gem comes from speaker, author, and CEO-advising type Peter Bregman, who asks the simple question, “Do you know what you are feeling?” What good, he asks, is all the therapy and yoga and navel-gazing activities that he and his wife have engaged in over the years? The answer is simple: now when somethingContinue reading ““And, just like that, all my anger uncoiled and slithered away.””

Peace like a river

From Maureena Bivins’ blog, today I learn of a study showing that emotions are primarily social occurrences: rather than being more internal, cognitive, individual responses, argues Brian Parkinson, they are “social phenomena” that are “interpersonally, institutionally, or culturally defined.” This may seem like a “well, duh” kind of finding, but I think it has importantContinue reading “Peace like a river”

The secret to happiness is right here

The magnificent Mark Morford, fabulous columnist for the SF Gate, offered up this fanstastic article about the power of gratitude, not just for the good things, but for everything. Some highlights: Be cynical if you want. Be jaded and sneery and think the world is a razor blade of anger and pain, just waiting toContinue reading “The secret to happiness is right here”

Make a move, change a thought

What little thing can you change about your life today? As someone who struggles with occasional dysthymia and fatigue, I think about this often. It’s all too easy to become trapped in habit, and forget that there is always choice. Sometimes it’s remarkable how doing something different can shake things up and cause change. WakingContinue reading “Make a move, change a thought”

“First, go for a swim”: When the mind-body connection doesn’t go far enough

A column in the Guardian late last week put words to something I’ve been considering for some time: if we are integrated creatures, can we go on thinking of our bodies as something separate from ourselves? Oliver Burkeman succinctly unpacks the problem of how modern humans tend to regard their own senses of self: manyContinue reading ““First, go for a swim”: When the mind-body connection doesn’t go far enough”