“So sometimes I need to be reminded that my body is mine.”

Today’s post comes from Return the Gayze, a blog I was alerted to by a Facebook post linked to me by a friend in a private message…you know how it goes. However I stumbled across it, I needed to share it with you. The post is about massage, about pain, about buried trauma, about whatContinue reading ““So sometimes I need to be reminded that my body is mine.””

Halloween, Permission, and Being Something Else

Halloween was always a thrilling time for me, both as a child and as an adult. It’s not that I was that into being scared; scary things were actually way too intense for me when I was little. And candy was nice, but given the weird scares of the 1980s, I wasn’t allowed to eatContinue reading “Halloween, Permission, and Being Something Else”

Sexism hurts all of us.

I stumbled across this entire series a few days ago. The first part is about how women often experience sexism. This second part, below, is about how boys and men are affected. While I powerfully related to the part about women’s experiences, the part about men’s really touched me. From my time in high school, whenContinue reading “Sexism hurts all of us.”

It’s spring. Sex for everyone! (Except people who don’t want it!)

Hello, lovely readers! Yesterday was the first day of spring.  And with spring in the air, folks’ thoughts tend to turn to friskiness. As a person who helps those who are struggling with body, sexuality and gender issues, one of the things that is clear is that there are not nearly enough images in theContinue reading “It’s spring. Sex for everyone! (Except people who don’t want it!)”

[Rerun] When will it be safe to be a girl?

This week I stumbled across two posts about gender that really resonated with me.  Gender is a tangled and complex subject, and there are people who can speak far more eloquently about trans issues, the intersection of gender and sexuality, and breaking the gender mold than I can.  But I wanted to highlight these twoContinue reading “[Rerun] When will it be safe to be a girl?”

Brief, but important.

A question I mean to put in my upcoming marketing materials, which the fabulous Julie Connor helped me crystallize the other day: People who are exploring questions of gender, sexuality, or relationship styles…How would it feel to live comfortably, securely and proudly in your body for who you are? I think that pretty much saysContinue reading “Brief, but important.”

Going outside your body to find your body: transgender gamers

Someone very close to me is a game designer, and has taught me a lot about this fast-evolving world and its possibilities.  This morning he sent me this article, about transgender gamers and their experiences in online video games.  (As usual, I strongly advise not reading the comments, which are rage-inducing.)  Many things moved meContinue reading “Going outside your body to find your body: transgender gamers”

[Re-run] When will it be safe to be a girl?

This week I stumbled across two posts about gender that really resonated with me.  Gender is a tangled and complex subject, and there are people who can speak far more eloquently about trans issues, the intersection of gender and sexuality, and breaking the gender mold than I can.  But I wanted to highlight these twoContinue reading “[Re-run] When will it be safe to be a girl?”

When will it be safe to be a girl?

This week I stumbled across two posts about gender that really resonated with me.  Gender is a tangled and complex subject, and there are people who can speak far more eloquently about trans issues, the intersection of gender and sexuality, and breaking the gender mold than I can.  But I wanted to highlight these twoContinue reading “When will it be safe to be a girl?”

Gender essentialism: how useful is it in therapy?

I’ve been doing some relationship work lately with a talented therapist.  While she doesn’t necessarily get everything that we’re laying down, to use a very old phrase, she does do an amazing job of observing and calling out the ways we communicate (or don’t), and helping us zero in on what the problems actually are.Continue reading “Gender essentialism: how useful is it in therapy?”